Despite the abundance of information, we still have a lot of prejudices that can complicate the intimate life. Sexologist and psychoanalyst Katrin Blanca every month analyzes one of such common opinions.
This muscle spasm makes penetration into the vagina impossible. Vaginism is of two types: primary, if a woman has never had sex and not a single way of penetration is impossible for her, and secondary, when a woman was already making love (and even, perhaps, has children). In the first case, the woman often thinks that her vagina is
too small, that her virgin playing is too strong or something is wrong with her … Here it is worth asking questions: how she relates to herself;As your body imagines;how mature is in sexual terms of mature? What are her ideas about a man;About his penis;About the act of love? Someone is afraid of the thought of (rough, bloody) defloration;others scare the possible consequences of sex, first of all – pregnancy: unconsciously, a woman can be afraid that a certain alien and hostile will have a certain someone else’s. In addition, starting sexual life, the girl changes the status in the eyes of her parents: if she is too afraid that her act is not approved, they will consider it betrayal, her unconscious may try to protect her with the help of such a symptom. In other words, this is how the need for protection is manifested! Like all fears, this one causes muscle hypertonicity – those that surround the entrance to the vagina. And this prevents any penetration, even if a woman wishes and waits for him. Moreover, its tension is not limited to this zone: the hips are often compressed, it does not dare to push them out, take the pose that will help the man.
And how to explain secondary vaginism?
Despite the experience of love, the woman’s body suddenly refuses sex. What was the cause of the event that was injured-difficult birth, the loss of someone from loved ones, moral or physical humiliation? Some drop overwhelmed the bowl-and the woman filled the woman? Or she feels an acute necessity. And the complete impossibility of saying no? Then her body says for her: “I would like, but I can’t”.
Catherine Blanc, author of the book “Women’s Sexuality” (“La Sexualité des Femmes N’est Celle des Magazines”, évolution, 2009).
